As many of you already know, Miss Tara of LDW passed away two weeks ago. I found out just last evening at the weekly tea party chat, an event that was hosted by Miss Tara for the past several years, and is now hosted jointly by Miss Tara and Ms. Natalie. Ms. Natalie shared the sad news with us, that Miss Tara had an infection of the lungs, complications set in and she passed away.
It’s hard for me to express how much Miss Tara means to me. When I first met her in 2006, she encouraged me to sign up for her beauty pageant. I was very cautious at the time and didn’t expect that anyone would understand my style of crossdressing, but she really helped me to trust her, and convinced me that this was a safe and fun thing to do. So I took a risk and it turned out great. Back then they were giving really great prizes for the pageant and I won a $100 gift certificate.
The photo I gave her was this one of me in the little wings, and from that point on, Miss Tara called me her flutterby, or sometimes just ‘little wings.’ Once when she was talking about visiting her family, she spoke about her nieces and she decided I would be her little niece who always would remain 7 years old. That’s why I sometimes called her my Aunty Tara.
She always served a mindboggling amount of sweets and treats at her virtual teaparty chat. If one of the chatters wanted to help out, that was okay, but Miss Tara took pride in actually serving whoever happened to wander in. She always had nachos for one of her regulars (“pothead”) and was careful to avoid mentioning there was shrimp in the hors d’oeuvres when tony d shrimp was in the room (she always called it “water chicken”). She knew I was partial to cheese puffs, although I always said they were for my doll.
She had the amazing ability to carry on six or eight or ten conversations at the same time, a necessary skill when hosting a busy chatroom. Her ability to reply with a lightning fast joke was often astonishing. She was very well read, and could discuss the plotlines of the classics as easily as the story arc of her favorite TV series. If you mentioned an author to her, she could rattle off three or four of her favorite books by that author. I was particularly impressed when she took apart some nutty guy’s argument that crossdressing was forbidden by the Bible.
When LDW started doing radio shows, her show was the one I always looked forward to. She’d always play something by the B-52s when she saw me in the chatroom because she knew they are a favorite of mine. Then a conversation would occur, where we typed in our messages and she would reply over the radio. Often her reply would be muffled by her wonderful laughter .. a laugh that was genuine and full of joy. One night I mentioned an obscure cartoon to her and she sang us the entire theme song.
I really couldn’t afford to call her much, but I was able to send her gifts on her birthday and Christmas. She had a very eclectic and fascinating wishlist. It’s not odd to send gifts to the ladies at LDW, but it was odd when she decided she wanted to send a gift to me! One day in a private chat, she asked for my address to send me a birthday gift. A lovely pink hairband decorated with butterflies arrived shortly later. Then there was a year she set aside a present and labeled it “for my little niece” and it accidentally went to one of her nieces. The Tinker Bell movie was also a gift from her, which is why I did an in-depth review of it here.
Most treasured of her gifts is a handwritten thank you card she mailed early this year. In it, she wrote, I know you don’t see how lovely and special you are, but I do. You are my sweet lil girl niece.
I hope I don’t come off as bragging about these gifts. I only mention them to show her generosity and caring.
At the moment her blog is in “maintenance mode” and I’m not sure what LDW will do with all her wonderful little posts and audios. I hope they will allow her many fans and friends to look them over, now that they are one of the few things left to remember her by.
Last night I had a long chat with my Mistress about this. She knew Miss Tara well, and we are both shocked and saddened by her passing. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that I won’t be talking to her again, at least not in this life. But she’s with the majority now, being welcomed and shown around her glorious new home. Life is a big illusion. And it always looks like there’s plenty of time. Today, Miss Tara is teaching me that there really isn’t much sand in that hourglass.