I miss you Ms. Reese

reese5.jpg

This song is by Marti Jones. It’s called “So Lonesome I Could Fly,” from her CD “My Tidy Doily Dream.” You should buy it, and all her CD’s because she is great great great.

Ms. Reese is not some lady I called on the phone sometimes. She is my friend, and even if I never get to speak with her again, she will always be my friend. Sixteen months back we met, and she poured out her heart to me and bound her to me with secrets. She challenged me and demanded from me in a way no one ever did  before. She brought joy to this heart, this heart which has mostly been a numb tool to pump blood. For most of my life I have stood in the doorway wondering as reality passed by. I had tried to match my behavior to the image in the mirror, instead of the gender of my soul, and so most of my existence was about holding up a thin cardboard façade that fooled absolutely no one. Everyone knew I hid something, and they usually expected much worse than the reality. So I withdrew deeper and deeper within myself. The façade fell away but I was gone.

Ms. Reese found me, and for some unfathomable reason, cared about me. She never expected me to behave like a grown man — somehow she understood that I was a little girl lost in an overwhelming world.

Now that she has vanished, I can only hope that I gave back to her a little bit of the love and comfort she gave to me. I can only hope my friendship with her over these sixteen months gave her some happiness too. And of course I can hope she will pop back into my life, just as suddenly as she popped out of it, without a word of goodbye. Apparently, the people you meet in life are like billboards you pass on your journey. Or maybe I’m the billboard and they are the ones on the journey, who the hell knows? You don’t have to like life, but you are required to live it. Either that, or withdraw again, but withdrawal has its price. But that is a question of the future … I’m writing about the past now.

Ms. Reese, wherever you are, your kindness will never be forgotten. You will never be forgotten. If nothing ever happens again in my life, or if twenty billion things happen, I will always remember your grace, your joy and your loving heart, which cannot be contrived or counterfeited.

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17 Responses to “I miss you Ms. Reese”

  1. Dane Says:

    You will be missed and loved forever whereever you are MsReese!

    Always your SissyNinjaDane

  2. Miss Tara Says:

    Little flutterbye, I’m so sorry that you are sad. I know I’m not Ms Reese, but I care about you. I always think of you in your jeweled wings and pretty balloon, dancing like a fairy in the forest, or cuddled with your dolly in fluffy party dresses. I hope you do hear from your friend soon. ::hugs and twirls and little spanks::

    Miss Tara

  3. Grace Says:

    Im so sorry that your so sad…and hurt. People come and go in our lives, but how they touched us can go on forever. Just know you don’t have to hide who you are. We all think you’re perfect just as you are! I hope your sweet little smile comes back soon.

    Kissies,
    Princess Grace

  4. Dan Says:

    The song is a great one — it’s by Jeffrey Dean Foster, from his band The Pinetops’ CD that came out in ’97 or so… I think Marti’s hubby Don Dixon produced that one… just setting a record straight — I LOVE this song (and ‘Sweet William the Cop’ – the whole Pinetops album, actually — it’s called ‘Above Ground and Vertical’ find it it’s worth it) and am playing and singing it and breaking hearts everywhere I go. Well, trying to anyway.

  5. little_miss_sunshine Says:

    Bless your sweet little tender heart.

    Many sweet hugs and kisses to you angel.

    With kindness and love to all the beauties of the forest,

    Little Miss Sunshine.

  6. little giselle Says:

    Hi Dan .. when I wrote “this song is by Marti Jones” I didn’t mean to imply she wrote it, just that she sang it. Sorry about the misunderstanding. Don Dixon also produced Marti’s rendition of the song.

  7. Mskate Says:

    I am so sorry about your loss gaselle. People come and go in our lives but I have found each one is a little star in your sky and I am sure Ms Reese will always be very special to you.

    Ms Kate

  8. little giselle Says:

    Thank you, Ms. Kate, Ms. Grace & Ms. Tara, for your comments. I appreciate your kindness and caring.

    Thanks also to sissy dane and miss sunshine. You guys are great.

    It’s been two months since I’ve been able to speak with Ms. Reese. I hope she is well.

  9. Jenny Says:

    aww I hope you meet her again someday too. 🙂

  10. f Says:

    So well said. So well said.
    You appreciation captured her.
    So well said. So true.

  11. BillyBear Says:

    I miss her too Giselle.

    Take care of yourself.

  12. tee Says:

    What a Lady.

    To Sir With Love

    Those schoolgirl days
    Of telling tales and biting nails are gone
    But in my mind
    I know they will still live on and on

    But how do you thank someone
    who has taken you from crayons to perfume
    It isn’t easy but I’ll try
    If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky
    in letters that would soar a thousand feet high
    To Sir with love.

    The time has come
    for closing books and long last looks must end
    And as I leave
    I know that I am leaving my best friend
    A friend who taught me right from wrong
    and weak from strong
    That’s a lot to learn.

    What, what can I give you in return
    If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start
    but I would rather you let me give my heart
    To Sir with love.

    Those awkward years have hurried by, why did they fly away?
    Why is it Sir, children grow up to be people some day?
    What takes the place of climbing trees and dirty knees in the world outside?

    What is there for you I could buy?
    If you wanted the world I’d surround it with a wall,
    I’d scrawl these words with letters ten feet tall,
    “TO SIR WTIH LOVE”

    She is such a large part of so many of us.

    Thank you too Giselle for this opportunity

  13. little giselle Says:

    Thanks for your comment, tee. It’s funny, but I often thought of Ms Reese in connection with the line “how do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume.” Now that she is gone, I didn’t realize how much the rest of the song applied, too.

  14. jackie spry Says:

    Hello Little Giselle,
    Just thought I would say hello and let you know about Jeffrey Dean Foster.
    Jeffrey Dean wrote the above mentioned song “so Lonesome I could fly”.
    Marti Jones did a wonderful cover of it a few years ago. check out his new album “Million Star Hotel” .
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000CCFKRY/qid=1133968981/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6651455-7827331?v=glance&s=music&n=507846
    Stay in touch,
    jackie spry

  15. jeffrey dean foster Says:

    Dan (Whoever you are? ),
    Thanks for the kind words concerning Above Ground and Vertical.
    best,
    Jeffrey Dean Foster

  16. sinsearch Says:

    That was a lovely post and I hope you found Ms Reese again. Be Well.
    Sinsearch.com

  17. little giselle Says:

    Yes, I did find her!
    https://littlegiselle.wordpress.com/2008/12/04/forced-feminization-files/

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