Well, most of you know about me, and my friend … she is a dominant who enjoys playing with gurls like me. Just wanted you all to know she is once again available for calls, she does a marvelous job in all aspects of phone fantasy, and you really ought to give her a try. She will blow your mind!

It has been 104 years since Sir J.M. Barrie wrote the play “Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up,” and 55 years since the Disney film adaptation of Peter Pan. Who would have guessed that Peter’s plucky fairy pal Tinker Bell would have become such a beloved character in the intervening decades? In the 60s she became synonymous with Walt Disney, darting in with her magic wand to sprinkle fairy dust on the TV titles for The Wonderful World of Color every Sunday night. Given her popularity, it was inevitable that a whole Disney franchise would spring up around Tink, including two novels by “Ella Enchanted” author Gail Carson Levine, a Pixie Hollow meet-and-greet area in Disneyland, the new Tinker Bell magazine, the social networking website pixiehollow.com, tons of merchandise, and now a new direct-to-DVD animated movie entitled “Tinker Bell.”

While the movie cannot hope to reach the heights of Barrie’s original masterpiece, it’s definitely worth seeing, whether you are a rabid Tinker Bell fanatic or simply curious about fairies and how they get their work done. Yes, while “Peter Pan” was all about play — about escaping the humdrum responsibilities of family and work and getting lost with the lost boys and Indians and pirates and mermaids of Neverland — “Tinker Bell” is all about working: who ought to do what job, whether natural talent is a blessing or curse, and why a string of spectacular failures might be your best path to success.

From the moment Tinker Bell is called into life by the laugh of a newborn baby, she is expected to discover her talent and get right to work. This is not a refutation of Barrie’s original concept for the character — a “tink” is slang for a tinker or silversmith. Peter says that Tink was “a quite common fairy … She is called Tinker Bell because she mends the pots and kettles.”

Sir Barrie saw Tink as a bit of a drudge … but how do you make an interesting story about a magical drudge?

Perhaps it’s not that odd today, in a world where parents push their children to achieve, excel and succeed in every activity they try. Maybe a kid’s movie about work is more in step with the times, rather than Barrie’s old vision of a boy who wouldn’t grow up. Or perhaps it’s an old world/new world thing. Now that Tink is finally speaking, her voice is unquestionably American, without a trace of an English accent. Interestingly, the other tinker fairies have Irish, Scottish or working-class British accents — and are mostly content with their lot in life.

Pixie Hollow has a simple system of discovering a fairy’s talent, and once her talent is known, she’s expected to labor away in her speciality for the rest of her born days. This system works fine for most of the fairies, but for Tink it’s awful. She dreams of visiting the “Mainland,” the mysterious source of the shiny “lost things” she finds so fascinating. Tinker fairies, however, are not needed on the Mainland. Tinkers support the other kinds of fairies, who travel to the Mainland periodically to do the important work that comes with the changing of the seasons. As a tinker, Tink is expected to build everyday fairy items, like hundreds of identical acorn kettles. She tries to transcend her job description by inventing some clever labor saving devices, but her inventions backfire and she’s soon back on kettle duty again.

Undeterred by her failure, Tink turns to her new friends in the ethnically-diverse Disney Fairies franchise: Fawn the animal fairy, Iridessa the light fairy, Rosetta the garden fairy (voiced by Kristin Chenoweth), and Silvermist the water fairy (voiced by the omnipresent Lucy Liu). Each of these fairies takes her turn at teaching Tink her particular talent. I think the scene with Iridessa would have amused Sir Barrie greatly, since he dreamt up the business of Peter Pan losing his shadow, and Tink was originally portrayed onstage as a beam of light directed by a hand mirror.

Predictably, Tink makes a total mess of things as a nature fairy, and Rosetta backs out of trying to teach her to be a garden fairy. With no one else to turn to, she seeks out Vidia, the fast-flying bad-girl of Pixie Hollow, who convinces her to try and corral the sprinting thistles. A funny western-style roundup scene follows, where Tink chases the thistles on the back of a mouse. But she is undermined by Vidia and the resulting thistle stampede destroys all the fairies’ preparations for Spring. Will Spring be cancelled?

In the face of a crisis, the limitations of the whole fairy system of specialization becomes obvious … how can a bunch of specialists work together as a team? What’s needed is someone who’s familiar with everyone’s job, and is smart enough to figure out a way to do that job more quickly in order to meet the deadline. Luckily there is one fairy who fits the bill, she just happens to be the star of the show, and she gets to save the day. My favorite of Tink’s inventions is a nut-gathering machine made from a glove, a harmonica and the bulb from a perfume bottle.

There’s a beautiful little scene earlier on where Tink rebuilds a toy music box from lost things she’s found washed up on the shore, and now her job description transforms once again, from inventor to finder-of-lost-things. Queen Clarion (voiced by Anjelica Huston) decrees that Tink and her fellow tinker fairies should go to the Mainland to return the music box to its proper owner.

The ending scene has the most beautifully lyrical animation of the movie (indeed, some of the prettiest 3D animation I’ve seen in any movie), as doves and fairies fly to the Mainland to spread Spring upon a wintry London scene, and then Tink returns the music box to a certain little girl we may remember from a story told long ago.

Loreena McKennitt, whose ethereal voice has given more goosebumps than there are stars in the sky, sings the lovely “To The Fairies They Draw Near,” and narrates a few lines of verse at the opening and closing of the film. There’s also some very nice celtic instrumental music throughout the movie, which unfortunately does not seem to be included on the soundtrack CD. There are also one or two forgettable Disney-style songs.

While the movie has no great characters like the hilariously foppish Captain Hook, no brilliant metaphors like the crocodile with the clock in its belly, and no heartfelt pleas to believe in order to cure Tink of a deadly dose of poison, “Tinker Bell” definitely has its moments. And while the quality of the character animation is unspectacular, and the dialog doesn’t sparkle much and most of the jokes are rather familiar, the movie does dare to cover new ground with its surprising multifaceted theme of finding meaningful and satisfying work. If that’s too intellectual for you, you can probably still enjoy the scenes of Tink tinkering with the lost music box, and showing off her inventions. And if that’s not enough for you, the Loreena McKennitt song is still worthy of your attention.

Giselle: how come there isnt a team called the panties?
Ms Savannah: lmao
Ms Savannah: they might not pass through the regulations
Giselle: that would probably be my favorite team
Ms Savannah: me too
Ms Savannah: Can I be their coach?
Giselle: sure
Giselle: you can train them for The Ruffle Butts
Ms Savannah: it will be their full time uniform
Ms Savannah: ruffle butt panties, and super frilly, puff sleeved shirts
Ms Savannah: and instead of helmets, it would be bonnets
Ms Savannah: and…..their “padding” would be push up bras and hoopskirts
Giselle: rofl
Giselle: that would be pretty cute
Giselle: and instead of that eye stuff they wear, they could have eyeshadow
Ms Savannah: yes!
Ms Savannah: and black liner
Giselle: giggle
Ms Savannah: and false eyelashes to protect them from the sun
Giselle: then they’d have to go offsides to the coach to get their eyelashes fixed after a play
Ms Savannah: yes!
Giselle: and you’d be there, doing their nails
Ms Savannah: and spanking their fanny
Ms Savannah: cuz I’m the coach, it’s my job

More about Ms. Savannah and her plans can be found at her site: Forced Feminization Files.

If you missed it, here are some photos from last night’s Miss America Pageant.

The winner is Katie R. Stern, Miss Indiana, who has a wonderfully expressive face.

Now who doesn’t wish they were her right now? Even for a few minutes maybe?

If you’re a regular visitor to the mammoth tg fiction archive Fictionmania, you’ve been going through some serious story withdrawal for the past two months. What the hell is going on? According to Sapphire, one of the fabulous Fictionmania Task Force, they’ve been having server troubles, and since it’s all run by volunteers, it’s taking a while to get it all back online again. Sapphire addressed some of the rumors about Fictionmania’s demise in this post on Crystal’s Cyberboard at Storysite.org.

Storysite is another mammoth tg fiction archive that came into being at a time when it looked like Fictionmania was truly gone and never coming back. Unfortunately, Storysite is experiencing its own troubles, stemming from being a massive free archive with no income-generating business behind it. Crystal addresses these troubles in this post, and also gives us a glimpse of the early days of tg fiction on the web. The upshot is, Storysite will not be adding new stories for awhile, although you can still go there and read thousands of great stories for free. You can also donate, if you want to see them stay afloat.

So where can you find new tg fiction? TopShelf is one of the sites worth investigating, although you will have to register in order to see everything that’s there and take advantage of all the search functions. TopShelf is the current incarnation of the site formerly known as Big Closet, and most regulars still refer to it as Big Closet. The advantage it has over Fictionmania and Storysite is, authors can directly post their story to the web, rather than submitting it to a volunteer task force to be read, formatted and catalogued. So you wouldn’t have to wait months to see your story online. There are still a few issues that are not fully addressed by this setup … I don’t fully understand how they can prevent an “author” from posting spam or kiddie porn or fatwas from Osama. The other problem is, lots of people are reluctant to log in. Not all tg’s are bold pioneers. Many of us cherish our anonymity.

Where else might you get your story fix? Stardust and TGFiction.net are both worthy of mention, although I haven’t delved into them deeply enough to comment on either. Both seem to follow the conventions established at TopSite, allowing authors to post directly to the site and inviting visitors to register and log in at each visit.

In the “no login necessary” category, there are some great stories at Sapphire’s Place, although it has not been updated in a few months. The Nifty TG Archive has been around forever, and they’re still around. Nifty is part of a larger archive of gay and lesbian stories, that’s why a few big strapping ultramasculine dudes feature in so many of the tg stories there. The ASSTR archive will let you do transvestite and trans-gender keyword searches within their larger archive of “sex stories.” Other available keywords: vegetables, robots, voraphilia (love of being eaten alive), bible, and oviposition (google it!). There’s a lot of stuff here but I’m not crazy about sorting through it all.

Literotica also has a “transsexuals and crossdressers” story section with over 2,000 stories. I found a post on how to search their archive here.

About a year ago I predicted the demise of Petticoat Discipline Quarterly, however they are still going along fine under the management of Auntie Helga. PDQ is mostly in the form of short letters, and they deal with some themes that not everyone will like, but they certainly deserve a mention.

If you’ve read this far, and are still reading, I’m impressed. Hopefully I’ve inspired you to look into a few new sites, instead of repeatedly hitting that Fictionmania link and getting “site not found.”

Let me know if you find something you like.

Yes, I know this is slightly off-topic for this lil blog but you know what? It’s Christmas, and it’s my blog and I’m gonna do the drivin’. :p

The iTunes store has been giving away one free Christmas song a week, and some have been real gems, including Tony Bennett’s classy version of Winter Wonderland and Faith Hill’s stirring rendition of O Holy Night. But once the end of the week comes, Apple replaces the free song with a new free song, and you have to pay 99 cents to download Tony or Faith now.

Amazon is comparatively the new kid on the block when it comes to downloadable music, and when it comes to freebies, they’ve been kicking iTunes’ butt up and down the snow-covered, garlanded street this holiday season. Check out this page of free Christmas music downloads. It’s a pretty impressive collection, including a track from Vince Guaraldi’s beautiful rendition of “Greensleeves,” a pretty love song by Leigh Nash, the bluesy “A Child Is Born,” a sophisticated novelty song by Barenaked Ladies, and just enough Christian Contemporary artists like Big Daddy Weave and Sixpence None The Richer to remind us, oh yeah, that’s what we’re celebrating here.

The absolute coolest part of this page is, it’s only the start. There are tons more free Christmas tunes tucked away on Amazon. You want more Vince Guaraldi? Dig around and you’ll find two free tracks used on the classic Charlie Brown Christmas TV special: O Tannenbaum, and (from the scene with Lucy and Schroeder) Fur Elise.

There’s also a very nice sampler with songs by Peggy Lee, Bing Crosby and a nice jazzy version of Nutcracker Suite and a masterful a cappella Auld Lang Syne by the Beach Boys. And if Hildegard Von Bingen is more to your liking, check out the free sampler of Naxos Early Music for some beautiful religious music.

The more you dig, the more freebies you find. I doubt I found everything, and they seem to add more each day I check back there.

L.A. Times has the obituary.

A fascinating and complex lady, and an inspiration to me personally. Please read my review of the film Notorious Bettie Page.

Want to play with makeup? Too cheap to buy any? That’s cool – there are dozens of sites where you can upload your photo and get a virtual makeover. But how many virtual makeover sites play an urban funktemporary rendition of Auld Lang Syne in an endless loop while you fiddle with bezier curves? It’s great fun … by the way that’s the mute button down in the lower left …

Kudos to Sephora for rolling the whole virtual makeover routine into an Xmas ecard with linkies to the actual cosmetics (virtually) used.

http://www.mistletoemakeover.com/

The Dark Knight DVD is on sale in stores today, so here’s a pic of the Joker dressed as a candy striper:

Or a nurse or whatever he’s supposed to be. Great movie, with some great performances and a well-written screenplay. But it’s violent and if you don’t want to see some violence to rottweilers in two scenes, either skip those two scenes or the entire movie. The candy striper bit only lasts for about a minute of screen time, so don’t buy the movie expecting it to be something major. Best scene is how the whole “social experiment” with the ferry boats is resolved.

The world is a lesser place without Heath Ledger. May he rest in peace.